Cajun-Style Girl

Today I look like Cajun-Style Girl because on Saturday I had my third, and hopefully final, laser hair removal treatment. Smells like barbecue and looks like boiling oil was sprayed onto a horrid sunburn that is only on the facial hair regions (neck, lower face) and hurts like being stung by wasps during and just after, and by today it itches and hurts and pieces of my face are falling off like I'm leprous.

Ick.

A mudmask tonight after a long, hot facial soak will alleviate much of this problem of dry, peeling, burnt flesh and within a week or two & be beautifuller than ever.

It's hard to be intersexed.

Tete

Yesterday, the Evil Ewok & I went shopping. I got a beautiful ankle-length Tibetan wrap skirt & some girly tops (with the spaghetti straps) - and my first bra. Wow. A strangely empowering little slip of spandex - like a training sports bra. It's hot pink, the only color they had.

I'm going shopping today for some more (one is obviously insufficient, but that's all the Gap had) - white, please.

Also, I went out as a woman to Koreana and nobody blinked. That made me feel really good. And I didn't need any anti-anxiety drugs to do it.

I also saw jainho & grass & cet.

I still am a lazy beech.

So I'm lazy. Sue me. I can't stand to look at a computer screen at home since I use one all day long. But no worries, I'm working on my writing. I think I'll work on paper & then type it in.

Rolls is here from Singapore; it's been so long since I've seen him, and I can't wait to eat dinner tonite - he's cooking. Hoorah! Friday is cool.

I miss a social life. Here's to making one!

Long Time No See

What a roller-coaster ride. I don't recognise my face in the mirror sometimes. My mom says I'm fat. Not really, but I just look chubby to her - face is rounding and the chest expanding. No real breast growth yet, although hair is receding all over. I'm informed that more hairs are growing on my head because girls have more head hair but that I won't notice it because my hair is so thick anyhoo.

I'm uncomfortable about my trans group. "tranny torture", I call it. I'm impatient, annoyed, not ready to wait on those who are self-important and ignorantly pretend wisdom. Speak softly and carry a big stick has always been my motto: I've been changing that over time to speak softly and lean on a big stick, and yet I can't seem to get over my seemingly instinctive loathing for str8 men who lumber and bellow and take charge.

Ironic. I've always been intolerant of men, but these days I'm Hothead Paisan: Homicidal Lesbian Terrorist.

* * * * *

For those who are ready, the door
to the deathless state is open.
You that have ears, give up
the conditions that bind you, and enter in.
- Majjhima Nikaya