kif.sexy.cowboy.breeder

if i was a filthy breeder like the rest of y'all i'd fall in love with kif kroaker. he's green & amphibious & the only str8 man with a diary. also, he can inflate his head with air to intimidate attackers. not only that, he's a brave cowboy with a mean pair of purple spurs. i like the nervous shy kind anyway. hence the real-life librarian fetish.

there's also the fact that he can reproduce by touch. i'm not talking snusnu, i mean actual reproduction: his body swells with eggs made from deoxyribonucleic acids his body stole from yours, as in your normal body-cells, & then he gives birth to thousands of tadpole young that crawl & flop into the birthing pool, where they will mature for eighteen years & then emerge, fully grown.

don't knock it. i want squishy children that don't require raising, only protection. i got guns and pH-balancing chemicals ga le�r & i could use a thousand young. i can't go donating sperm my whole life like a man can in order to conquer the world biologically.

i now quote ensign kroaker his/itself:

dear diary, i just made love for the second time.

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I am currently listening to: Futurama theme song
I am currently reading: Parks Douglas R: Shawnee Noun Inflection in Crawford James M, ed. 1975: Studies in Southeastern Indian Languages, Athens GA: University of Georgia Press