A smart woman in a short skirt? Dood, get a fucking grip.
Looking for a smart woman in a short skirt: "Im a handsome, happy, single guy, looking for my soulmate, playmate and counterpart. I really enjoy doing just about anything outdoors, am a great cook, love to BBQ, beach it and enjoy a fine wine over candlelight. I love to snow ski, golf and travel. Sound good to you? An adventurous and intelligent spirit are two things that I give to any friendship/relationship, and things that I would like to see in return. Concern and compassion are also very important! My ideal match takes care of herself emotionally and physically, loves to travel, enjoys anything outdoors and has an open attitude toward sex. A great sense of humor and honesty are also very important to me. If you like hiking up a mountain, walking along the deserted beaches in winter, or dancing up a storm when the mood demands, then please write."
CAN ANYONE EXPLAIN TO THE BREEDERS THAT THEY HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE?
I know, I know. I've said it before & you don't need to hear it again. I just want to impress upon you how fucking often I have to put up with this shit that I post on it every couple weeks: every goddamn day I get IMed by some wanker. Literally. Like he's typing with lube on his fingers & then is deeply offended that I don't want to talk him off.
So I look at the fucking Yahoo profile just for goddamn sport. How do we match each other? Yahoo will tell you by highlighting the appropriate sections.
Now if the above description of a worldly, short-skirt wearing trailblazer marching up & down the fucking hill hasn't already made the point that I ain't her, let's review how I match his desires: well, he wants a non-fat woman who doesn't smoke.
How do I utterly miss his requirements? He wants a Christian woman. He wants an employed woman. He has no political opinions (he says). He wants a woman who will watch sports with him. He also wants a woman who will travel with him.
Okay, so not only is my city in a national state of emergency, but this unclefucker wants me to put on a tiny dress, watch football and Pray to the Lord while hiking the fucking Alps. And drinking.
Let me remind the viewer that I am an agoraphobic, politically rampaging feminist who has never worn a skirt in her life, is a Buddhist, a teetotaller, unemployed and is most kindly described as a woman by default - I ain't male, so I gotta be something, right?
The funny thing is that all of this is visible to him - except for the gender ambiguity, which may be visible in the picture but isn't really something you can note in a quick online profile because they only give you two options, male & female.
Not only that, but the only way in which he matches my desires - and he can see this when he reviews my profile - is that he doesn't smoke. Every other category - and there are 25 - doesn't match. Including that I am looking for a WOMAN.
Somebody get me a club. He stops in the middle of a fucking national emergency to send me an icebreaker?
CAN ANYONE EXPLAIN TO THE BREEDERS THAT THEY HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE?
I know, I know. I've said it before & you don't need to hear it again. I just want to impress upon you how fucking often I have to put up with this shit that I post on it every couple weeks: every goddamn day I get IMed by some wanker. Literally. Like he's typing with lube on his fingers & then is deeply offended that I don't want to talk him off.
So I look at the fucking Yahoo profile just for goddamn sport. How do we match each other? Yahoo will tell you by highlighting the appropriate sections.
Now if the above description of a worldly, short-skirt wearing trailblazer marching up & down the fucking hill hasn't already made the point that I ain't her, let's review how I match his desires: well, he wants a non-fat woman who doesn't smoke.
How do I utterly miss his requirements? He wants a Christian woman. He wants an employed woman. He has no political opinions (he says). He wants a woman who will watch sports with him. He also wants a woman who will travel with him.
Okay, so not only is my city in a national state of emergency, but this unclefucker wants me to put on a tiny dress, watch football and Pray to the Lord while hiking the fucking Alps. And drinking.
Let me remind the viewer that I am an agoraphobic, politically rampaging feminist who has never worn a skirt in her life, is a Buddhist, a teetotaller, unemployed and is most kindly described as a woman by default - I ain't male, so I gotta be something, right?
The funny thing is that all of this is visible to him - except for the gender ambiguity, which may be visible in the picture but isn't really something you can note in a quick online profile because they only give you two options, male & female.
Not only that, but the only way in which he matches my desires - and he can see this when he reviews my profile - is that he doesn't smoke. Every other category - and there are 25 - doesn't match. Including that I am looking for a WOMAN.
Somebody get me a club. He stops in the middle of a fucking national emergency to send me an icebreaker?
posted by Unknown @ 21:08
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